The Secret Sauce is in Who I Am…Not What I Do!

Every day, I am finding myself more and more amazed at the power of me. I spent so much of my life living up to expectations. Whose expectations? My own expectations, those of others and even those that I thought others had of me.

I was given a healing years ago and at one point the healer whispered in my ear, “You are in a prison of your own making.” Wow the truth in those words broke me open. How had I been imprisoning myself with my own thoughts, rules…expectations?

A few years later I had a realization that I was afraid to be me – that is to fully express me – my light, my strength and my wisdom. Somehow, I realized that when I fully expressed who I was, people left. At least that is what I told myself. So I spent so much of my life doing things so people would love me, rather than being me. I did things at half of my light, to make sure they wouldn’t leave, or judge me.

Only recently have I begun to truly embrace the power of me and allow the light that is within me to shine bright. I have started to realize that I don’t have to DO anything. I know have been told that for a long time and I even have gotten it on an intellectual level. But it hasn’t been until the most recent days, weeks and months that I have viscerally, kinesthetically truly felt what that really meant and known that truth.

You see I still thought I had to do something. Even with my company, dream and vision of OneGiving®, I felt like I had to show or prove an idea…hence do something. Until recently, I realized I just have to be me…that my gifts come whether I am doing OneGiving®, consulting, surfing, smiling or whatever. And while I am committed to OneGiving®, the motivation and drive behind it has shifted. Inherently, the common denominator is not any one of those things, rather it is ME! Wow! Now that is a powerful thought…and that is the power of being me!

You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1 and twitter @pilarstella.

Leave Everything Better Than When You Found It!

I started thinking about something a yogi once told me...to leave everything better than when I found it. It seems like one of the most obvious and simple choices we can make in life. No matter how small the interaction - whether in a grocery store or walking down the street or attending a gathering - or how big - from friendships to relationships to partnerships and beyond - if your only intention is to just interact with any one and every one and leave them, and you, better than when you first met or interacted, imagine how the world will be.

I have been living by this principle, consciously, for some time now and it is miraculous how profound the effect is on me. I have almost begun to treat life and my interactions with others as a game. Not in a bad or insincere way, but just in a way that seeks to bring the light and best out of me and others. When I am in a grocery store, I try to engage others with a smile or an extra look in the eye or positive interaction. When I walk down the street, I try to take everything in and walk with a little skip or bounce in my step and smile on my face. When I run an errand, make a business call or email, I try to sprinkle a little light, love and grace onto others.

I can think upon countless interactions in which by just being a little brighter and lighter and sharing that light with others, their mood picks up or at least something shifts. I remember I was at a store once and the person behind the counter was very cranky. It made me sad, so I just gently and softly kept engaging them in little ways, asking them about themselves, being grateful for little things and by the end of the interaction, they had completely shifted.

It reminded me of throwing the stone into the water and watching the ripple effect. That as I seek to be brighter and leave everything better than when I found it, it has the effect of not only impacting that one person, but then that person turns around and shifts in their interactions with others.

Sometimes this is easier to do with strangers than those we love, but even in those interactions with loved ones it has a profound effect. Bringing in an sense of empathy, compassion and gratitude to our loved ones and those around us helps to heal everyone involved. I think about my relationships with friends, family and partners and make an effort so that as I leave every interaction, if I were to ask myself, did you leave them better than when you found them, I can say yes. It definitely takes a constant practice and a consistent effort, but it is worth the outcome and results - for me and I think for them.

Imagine what the world would look like if we could all leave everything better than when we found it. Often times that means meeting people where they are at and interacting genuinely and compassionately not being fake or insincere. Rather, it is about really being present to listen, feel and hear them and or smile at them or breathe deeply to uplift and share your own light with them.

Are you making a conscious effort with every action to leave things better than when you found them? What would it look like for you? Try it on for size and see how your world, and that of those around you, shifts...likely for the better!

You can find me on Twitter @pilarstella and Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1.
This blog is also found at: http://completebalance.com/experts/blog/item/leave-everything-better-than-when-you-found-it.html

BE the light, SHINE your light

As I woke up today on this 1.11.11, I reflected on the state of the world and all that is going on. Birds are dropping out of the sky, people are being shot, animals are dying, storms are brewing and to the casual observer one may think there just might be something to this 2012 thing and the apocalypse.

The reality is that our realities are created by what we believe. If we believe that there is violence and negativity around us, we will only see that. Yet if we see the good, the opportunity and the possibility in everything, we may just create those things in the world around us.

I always remember the saying, after the darkness comes the light. Having lived in a state of darkness for many years myself, when I couldn't see the positive or the opportunity anywhere, I know that statement really is true.

Sometimes, before we are able to get to the light, we have to go through a dark period. I believe, being in that darkness, causes (or forces) us to go inward, to reflect and find the courage and strength within to come out fighting. The reality is that some of us don't make it out alive. But for those of us that do, we come out living, breathing and being the light.

We all have a choice. Does that mean the choice is an easy one? Not necessarily. Yet the only person we can change is ourselves. So if we see a world of darkness and are surrounded by a world of negativity, what are the choices we have? We can choose darkness or we can choose to BE the light, SHINE the light and BRING light to the world and those around us.

What choices are you making in your life? Are you fully SHINING your light? What is one thing you can do today to BE the light? What is one thing you can do every day to SHINE your light?

You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1 and on Twitter @pilarstella.

Putting the "I" Back in InspIre

My piece written as a luminary for www.inspiremetoday.com on May 25, 2010 (http://www.inspiremetoday.com/archiveDisp.php?type=0&ref=789). Check it out and be inspired and inspiring! ;) p

If you start with "I", InspIratIon leads to magic, miracles and dreams beyond your wildest imagination. ~ Pilar Stella

As I sat down to write this piece, I thought about the word "InspIre." No wonder the word starts with the letter "I" and "U" is no where to be found. Yet, isn't it interesting that when we think of the word InspIre, it is often to think of who InspIres us and is even more likely to be answered with some external person, mentor or idol?

What if we began to truly see the "I" in InspIre and recognized the ways in which we InspIre ourselves and others? Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful thing to be InspIred by others. But in some ways, perhaps, isn't it like reality TV? That is, people watch how other people live their lives in interesting, strange and often unique ways, while they sit on their couches dreaming of another life, or what their life could be like.

What if instead of watching other people live cool and different lives, what if instead of looking to others to InspIre us, we fully embraced our own uniqueness, authenticity, passion and greatness and looked for the ways in which we can and do InspIre ourselves and others?

I don't have to look very far back in my own life to remember a time when I kept looking outside of myself for InspIratIon. I kept searching for some "thing", some "it", some "one" that could InspIre me, encourage me, or mentor me to be a better me. One day I woke up and realized, hey wait a minute, if it isn't coming from within first, nothing out there will ever truly InspIre me.

That is when my life truly began to transform. I began to dream again. I began to push the envelope, live outside my comfort zone and do the things that make my heart and soul sing. In doing so, I realized I was beginning to InspIre others inadvertently in the process. I received notes and words of confidence and gratitude from friends, thanking me for InspIrIng them to be a better "them."

What it did for me, was InspIre me to keep going, to keep living more and more in my truth every day. It allowed me to open up and follow my heart, reach for the stars, dream my big dreams and shine my light brighter every day.

What are you waiting for in your life to InspIre yourself and others? What is one little step you can take today towards your dream, to waking up and living more fully in your life every day and to InspIrIng yourself first and then others magically in the process?

You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.