One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. ~Andre Gide
I was recently told by a friend that there is a time during delivery of a baby in which the process is so painful that the mom wants to run and hide and to do anything but keep pushing the baby out. This time is so aptly called the transition. What a perfect metaphor for our own life transitions and the transition we are in at this moment in history.
I am seeing it everywhere and feeling it all around me - transitions - from one existence we have known to one we are very unsure of, from an old paradigm to a new. These are very uncomfortable times for many. Some days it is uncomfortable for me, even painful, to go through this transition, that is until I let go or get out of my way, go inward, meditate or do something to release my grip of what I have known and allow something else to emerge.
I have likened it to any time in history in which people have discovered new paradigms and have gone against the grain.
Galileo, known by many as the father of modern science, was very controversial in his time. His studies in astronomy and science that supported the view that the Sun, not the Earth, was at the center of the universe went against the prevailing beliefs of the time. When he defended his views, he was tried by the Inquisition, found suspect of heresy, was forced to recant and spent the remainder that of his life under house arrest.
Columbus, whether you support him or not, when he set off to the west, their were conflicting beliefs at the time that the world was flat or that it had a much wider diameter. Hence, he was scoffed at for the idea of discovering new lands as it went against the prevailing beliefs. But he kept going when others didn't believe, only to (re-)"discover" the Americas and disprove existing theories.
When the pioneers in America crossed the frontier to head west and discover new lands, the same apprehension and fear of the unknown also was faced - and overcome.
There are many more stories like this over history in which visionaries, stepped out of the norm, out of the accepted and out of their comfort zones to find some unknown, that they believed was there and they believed was possible, when others dared not or feared the impossible and the unknown.
I believe we are in a transition like this and when major historical transitions like this come about, we are bound to be uncomfortable. Those of us on the cutting edge are likely to be questioned, doubted, even feared. For what we are discovering dares to question the existing paradigm, to change the current world view and to challenge what we have been taught, what we know and what we believe in.
Transitions can be uncomfortable and down right scary times for everyone. Yet we must remember in these transitions that there may be a period in which we lose sight of the shore for a long time, but we must keep going to see progress. We can not go backwards, that is no longer an option.
We have little choice but to step forward and trust that the steps will appear before us. We may want to stay stuck because we can't see the next step. But something will force us there whether we like it or not, so we might as well move forward in faith and trust, knowing that something better is coming. That is one thing we may surely have learned from history, is that in times like this, moving forward, taking one step forward in the direction of progress is much better than holding on to or standing still and staying stuck with what is no longer working.
In these times of transition, may you let go and move forward to do what it is you are here to do. Learn to trust the process and welcome in the new, rather than resist it and allow the pain, turmoil and transition to persist.
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Who Will You Follow?
When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else. ~ Joseph Campbell
I remember one time I was sitting with my Kundalini Yoga guru and he asked a question to our class about businesses that if a business idea was presented that two people believed and 98 didn't, who would you follow? Many people said the 98. I said likely the two because most likely the two can see what the others cannot see, that is what entrepreneurs do. He laughed and said that it was funny that the entrepreneur in the room would say that and that I was right on.
It was an interesting reminder for me on that day, as likely it was one of the days, that I was up against the wall, uncomfortable in my life because I had chosen the entrepreneurial path. Let me tell you, some days being an entrepreneur really isn't easy. It takes courage and a stomach that many can't handle. Some days I can't handle it.
That day, my class reminded me that sometimes we can see things that others can't see or we can't see things that others can see. Entrepreneurs are often visionaries who see things before others can see them and they create solutions to solve problems, before others. Then once they are up and running, others get it. But they often think the entrepreneurs are crazy in the process.
I definitely have experienced that a lot lately in the creation of my company OneGiving and it hasn't always been easy. Yet, it has taught me a lot about following or, should I say, not following. A friend reminded me along my journey that it isn't for me to follow others but to seek my own truth within. It is something so true that I am learning to live more and more every day.
I used to look outside me for my answers and guidance. Now I may look externally to scan the landscape of what is out there and what is possible. Yet, when I am looking for answers I look within for the answers to come and to follow my truth, my path, my bliss.
I am learning more and more every day that by following my heart, my soul, my inner guidance, and my spirit guidance, that the days get easier and the path gets clearer. I am starting to see my beauty, get clarity for my vision and for my life, and be more confident with each step I take. I am learning to trust in that process that as long as I am following my inner compass, I can put one foot forward even before the step appears and I know that I know that I know that it will show up.
That is who I will follow - I follow myself and trust in my own inner guidance and spirit to show me the way. Follow your bliss and watch as the rest takes care of itself!
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
I remember one time I was sitting with my Kundalini Yoga guru and he asked a question to our class about businesses that if a business idea was presented that two people believed and 98 didn't, who would you follow? Many people said the 98. I said likely the two because most likely the two can see what the others cannot see, that is what entrepreneurs do. He laughed and said that it was funny that the entrepreneur in the room would say that and that I was right on.
It was an interesting reminder for me on that day, as likely it was one of the days, that I was up against the wall, uncomfortable in my life because I had chosen the entrepreneurial path. Let me tell you, some days being an entrepreneur really isn't easy. It takes courage and a stomach that many can't handle. Some days I can't handle it.
That day, my class reminded me that sometimes we can see things that others can't see or we can't see things that others can see. Entrepreneurs are often visionaries who see things before others can see them and they create solutions to solve problems, before others. Then once they are up and running, others get it. But they often think the entrepreneurs are crazy in the process.
I definitely have experienced that a lot lately in the creation of my company OneGiving and it hasn't always been easy. Yet, it has taught me a lot about following or, should I say, not following. A friend reminded me along my journey that it isn't for me to follow others but to seek my own truth within. It is something so true that I am learning to live more and more every day.
I used to look outside me for my answers and guidance. Now I may look externally to scan the landscape of what is out there and what is possible. Yet, when I am looking for answers I look within for the answers to come and to follow my truth, my path, my bliss.
I am learning more and more every day that by following my heart, my soul, my inner guidance, and my spirit guidance, that the days get easier and the path gets clearer. I am starting to see my beauty, get clarity for my vision and for my life, and be more confident with each step I take. I am learning to trust in that process that as long as I am following my inner compass, I can put one foot forward even before the step appears and I know that I know that I know that it will show up.
That is who I will follow - I follow myself and trust in my own inner guidance and spirit to show me the way. Follow your bliss and watch as the rest takes care of itself!
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Trust the Process
Let’s just trust the process. If other people don’t want to trust the process, that’s fine. If other people want to abandon the process, then abandon it. I’m not abandoning the process. I believe in the process. ~Dayton Moore
Everywhere I turn, I seem to be running into people who's lives are turning upside down, or perhaps right side up. Either way, it is a time of great flux and change on the planet and the only thing that seems consistent is change itself.
As I go through this myself, I have found one reminder to keep me calm and sane during this mass process of change and shedding the old: Trust the process! That is, we are entering a time in which so much of the old and familiar is dropping away and yet the new is completely unknown. It is as though we are coming to the edge of a cliff and we can look back and see what was, but as we look forward all we see is a vast expanse of openness. The only thing that we can do to keep moving forward is to take one giant step in faith and trust that the path will appear with every step we take in the right direction.
For many this is terrifying, for others it is thrilling. For me, it just is. While I have my days, that I too freak out and wonder, is everything really changing this quickly? Has everything I know and have known gone away? If so, what is it being replaced with, what is coming? I don't have the answers and while for many months I have tried to figure it out with my logical mind, I have begun instead to let going of trying to get it and to just trust the process as to what is and what is coming.
The last few months have been particularly about letting go and surrendering to what my conscious mind thinks it should all look like and what is coming and how it may unfold. It isn't easy for someone used to always having a plan, to let go like that. But what I have been finding is that the holding on is the painful part. Holding on to what it should look like, how it should happen, the timing of it all and the expectations are what creates the stress, fear and discombobulation! Whereas, when I let go and watch what unfolds, I am pleasantly surprised and mysteriously amazed at what is appearing before me.
As I have been experiencing over and over again when I try to understand it or control it, I suffer a lot more than if I let go and trust the process.
Is your life shifting every day, on every level, in every way? If so, let go of your expectations, of what you think it should look like, when or even how, and let go, trust the process and allow it to be whatever it may become and more than you ever imagined possible!
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
Everywhere I turn, I seem to be running into people who's lives are turning upside down, or perhaps right side up. Either way, it is a time of great flux and change on the planet and the only thing that seems consistent is change itself.
As I go through this myself, I have found one reminder to keep me calm and sane during this mass process of change and shedding the old: Trust the process! That is, we are entering a time in which so much of the old and familiar is dropping away and yet the new is completely unknown. It is as though we are coming to the edge of a cliff and we can look back and see what was, but as we look forward all we see is a vast expanse of openness. The only thing that we can do to keep moving forward is to take one giant step in faith and trust that the path will appear with every step we take in the right direction.
For many this is terrifying, for others it is thrilling. For me, it just is. While I have my days, that I too freak out and wonder, is everything really changing this quickly? Has everything I know and have known gone away? If so, what is it being replaced with, what is coming? I don't have the answers and while for many months I have tried to figure it out with my logical mind, I have begun instead to let going of trying to get it and to just trust the process as to what is and what is coming.
The last few months have been particularly about letting go and surrendering to what my conscious mind thinks it should all look like and what is coming and how it may unfold. It isn't easy for someone used to always having a plan, to let go like that. But what I have been finding is that the holding on is the painful part. Holding on to what it should look like, how it should happen, the timing of it all and the expectations are what creates the stress, fear and discombobulation! Whereas, when I let go and watch what unfolds, I am pleasantly surprised and mysteriously amazed at what is appearing before me.
As I have been experiencing over and over again when I try to understand it or control it, I suffer a lot more than if I let go and trust the process.
Is your life shifting every day, on every level, in every way? If so, let go of your expectations, of what you think it should look like, when or even how, and let go, trust the process and allow it to be whatever it may become and more than you ever imagined possible!
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Putting the "I" Back in InspIre
My piece written as a luminary for www.inspiremetoday.com on May 25, 2010 (http://www.inspiremetoday.com/archiveDisp.php?type=0&ref=789). Check it out and be inspired and inspiring! ;) p
If you start with "I", InspIratIon leads to magic, miracles and dreams beyond your wildest imagination. ~ Pilar Stella
As I sat down to write this piece, I thought about the word "InspIre." No wonder the word starts with the letter "I" and "U" is no where to be found. Yet, isn't it interesting that when we think of the word InspIre, it is often to think of who InspIres us and is even more likely to be answered with some external person, mentor or idol?
What if we began to truly see the "I" in InspIre and recognized the ways in which we InspIre ourselves and others? Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful thing to be InspIred by others. But in some ways, perhaps, isn't it like reality TV? That is, people watch how other people live their lives in interesting, strange and often unique ways, while they sit on their couches dreaming of another life, or what their life could be like.
What if instead of watching other people live cool and different lives, what if instead of looking to others to InspIre us, we fully embraced our own uniqueness, authenticity, passion and greatness and looked for the ways in which we can and do InspIre ourselves and others?
I don't have to look very far back in my own life to remember a time when I kept looking outside of myself for InspIratIon. I kept searching for some "thing", some "it", some "one" that could InspIre me, encourage me, or mentor me to be a better me. One day I woke up and realized, hey wait a minute, if it isn't coming from within first, nothing out there will ever truly InspIre me.
That is when my life truly began to transform. I began to dream again. I began to push the envelope, live outside my comfort zone and do the things that make my heart and soul sing. In doing so, I realized I was beginning to InspIre others inadvertently in the process. I received notes and words of confidence and gratitude from friends, thanking me for InspIrIng them to be a better "them."
What it did for me, was InspIre me to keep going, to keep living more and more in my truth every day. It allowed me to open up and follow my heart, reach for the stars, dream my big dreams and shine my light brighter every day.
What are you waiting for in your life to InspIre yourself and others? What is one little step you can take today towards your dream, to waking up and living more fully in your life every day and to InspIrIng yourself first and then others magically in the process?
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
If you start with "I", InspIratIon leads to magic, miracles and dreams beyond your wildest imagination. ~ Pilar Stella
As I sat down to write this piece, I thought about the word "InspIre." No wonder the word starts with the letter "I" and "U" is no where to be found. Yet, isn't it interesting that when we think of the word InspIre, it is often to think of who InspIres us and is even more likely to be answered with some external person, mentor or idol?
What if we began to truly see the "I" in InspIre and recognized the ways in which we InspIre ourselves and others? Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful thing to be InspIred by others. But in some ways, perhaps, isn't it like reality TV? That is, people watch how other people live their lives in interesting, strange and often unique ways, while they sit on their couches dreaming of another life, or what their life could be like.
What if instead of watching other people live cool and different lives, what if instead of looking to others to InspIre us, we fully embraced our own uniqueness, authenticity, passion and greatness and looked for the ways in which we can and do InspIre ourselves and others?
I don't have to look very far back in my own life to remember a time when I kept looking outside of myself for InspIratIon. I kept searching for some "thing", some "it", some "one" that could InspIre me, encourage me, or mentor me to be a better me. One day I woke up and realized, hey wait a minute, if it isn't coming from within first, nothing out there will ever truly InspIre me.
That is when my life truly began to transform. I began to dream again. I began to push the envelope, live outside my comfort zone and do the things that make my heart and soul sing. In doing so, I realized I was beginning to InspIre others inadvertently in the process. I received notes and words of confidence and gratitude from friends, thanking me for InspIrIng them to be a better "them."
What it did for me, was InspIre me to keep going, to keep living more and more in my truth every day. It allowed me to open up and follow my heart, reach for the stars, dream my big dreams and shine my light brighter every day.
What are you waiting for in your life to InspIre yourself and others? What is one little step you can take today towards your dream, to waking up and living more fully in your life every day and to InspIrIng yourself first and then others magically in the process?
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
What’s Love Got to Do With It?
You never lose by loving. You always lost by holding back.
~ Unknown
I recently posted a Facebook status update, “Hey Tina, Love’s got everything to do with it!” Truly, I believe it to be so and to be the crux of just about everything in life! I just finished my next book (to be released this fall), What is the Meaning of Life? After spending the last nine months writing this book and pondering the questions and meaning of life, I realized that it all boils down to love!
Love is so many things. Love is the way someone makes you smile or laugh, the feeling you get in anticipation of seeing them or talking to them. Love is also the way you feel about yourself, the peace inside of knowing who you are and getting that it starts and ends with loving yourself. Love is loving unconditionally, unabashedly, uncontrollably. Love is that flip in your stomach, the flutter in your heart, the tingle in your core, at the simplest thought of a person.
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. ~ Unknown
I was recently reminded of what love is. My heart was opened in a way I had forgotten. I was also reminded that love is unconditional and it doesn’t always show up the way you want it to. When we try to label love, or put love into a box, we ruin the simplicity of what love is. Yet when we truly honor that feeling inside and the core of love, we see rainbows and feel fairies dancing inside reminding us that we are in love and that we are love, with no conditions or strings. When we love unconditionally, we love that person for all that they are, their life circumstances, their gifts, for everything they are and everything they are not. That is love in its purest form.
Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.
~ James Matthew Barrie
When we love ourselves with all of our being, we attract others to reflect that back. When we love others without conditions, it is a reflection back at us of the love that we are, plain and simple. What a magical feeling to be in love and to be love!
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
~ Unknown
I recently posted a Facebook status update, “Hey Tina, Love’s got everything to do with it!” Truly, I believe it to be so and to be the crux of just about everything in life! I just finished my next book (to be released this fall), What is the Meaning of Life? After spending the last nine months writing this book and pondering the questions and meaning of life, I realized that it all boils down to love!
Love is so many things. Love is the way someone makes you smile or laugh, the feeling you get in anticipation of seeing them or talking to them. Love is also the way you feel about yourself, the peace inside of knowing who you are and getting that it starts and ends with loving yourself. Love is loving unconditionally, unabashedly, uncontrollably. Love is that flip in your stomach, the flutter in your heart, the tingle in your core, at the simplest thought of a person.
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. ~ Unknown
I was recently reminded of what love is. My heart was opened in a way I had forgotten. I was also reminded that love is unconditional and it doesn’t always show up the way you want it to. When we try to label love, or put love into a box, we ruin the simplicity of what love is. Yet when we truly honor that feeling inside and the core of love, we see rainbows and feel fairies dancing inside reminding us that we are in love and that we are love, with no conditions or strings. When we love unconditionally, we love that person for all that they are, their life circumstances, their gifts, for everything they are and everything they are not. That is love in its purest form.
Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.
~ James Matthew Barrie
When we love ourselves with all of our being, we attract others to reflect that back. When we love others without conditions, it is a reflection back at us of the love that we are, plain and simple. What a magical feeling to be in love and to be love!
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
I'm on a Boat!
I would be completely delinquent if I didn’t post a blog about my incredible journey aboard a boat, the Halcyon III, in the British Virgin Islands with the lovely Captains Gail Goodwin and Darryl Slattengren and a whole crew of hotties!
And then I thought better of it, because as you know, what happens on the boat, stays on the boat. But oh wait, we live in the world of Facebook, Twitter and blogs, so I guess that just isn’t the case!
Instead of write a whole lot about it, I thought I’d post the lyrics to the re-write of the song, “I’m on a Boat!” that we did to sum up our adventures. Unfortunately (or possibly fortunately for some of you out there), we were planning to remake the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBCrsaet-2Q) with these lyrics instead, but it rained on the day of our filming. So you’ll either have to picture a bunch of us jumping around the boat, or wait for our next boat trip, because this boat trip sucked compared to our next one!
Enjoy and just know that life really can be that easy and free – with laughter, love and joy – if we let it be!
Chorus
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother-huggin’ boat
I'm on a mother-huggin’ boat, watch me jive
Smooth floatin on the water, in the BVI
On the Halcyon III, straight pimped out ride
You can hug me mother-hugger cause my boat is so fly
Take a better photo, Jim, I'm on a fresh boat trip
We eatin green salad, cause it's oh so crisp
I got my breast pumps… and my flippy flippy floppers,
Anegada, playin pool, chowin vishals lobsters
I'm ridin the dingy, woops, that’s what she said,
Yoga in the mornin’, with the towels on our heads,
Drinkin sport tea, laughin, how sober can we be?
I'm on a boat mother-hugger, wanna snorkel with me?
Chorus I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother-huggin’ boat
I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo
Today really sucks, when compared to tomorrow
Gail and Darryl at the helm, and a boat full of cuties,
Donkeyote and the pirates, yo, Surrender the booty
Handstands, trampolines, straight chillin on a hammock
Just ran out of chocolate, the crew’s in a panic
Fear is an illusion and that’s a fact
But that’s okay mother-hugger, cause we got bushwacked!
Sailed past Branson’s island, who could ask for more
Cheers to him for joining us on the global hug tour.
OneGiving, street smart, front row foundation
Check out our crew, such an inspiration!
Chorus
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother-huggin’ boat
Hey there friends, if you could see us now
Arms spread wide, jumpin off the bow
Gonna get wet, but I just don’t care,
Cause this crazy adventure is for us to share!
I hugged a mermaid
Chorus
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother-huggin’ boat!
© Halcyon III crew May 2010
Thanks to the whole crew for the magical mystery boat ride!
Gail Goodwin and Darryl Slattengren with www.inspiremetoday.com
Jim Miotke and Jason Schumaker with www.betterphoto.com
Jon and Mara Berghoff with www.gecresults.com and www.frontrowfoundation.org
Oh yeah and you know me… www.pilarstella.com and www.onegiving.com
Thank you all for the love, light and laughter! ;) p
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
And then I thought better of it, because as you know, what happens on the boat, stays on the boat. But oh wait, we live in the world of Facebook, Twitter and blogs, so I guess that just isn’t the case!
Instead of write a whole lot about it, I thought I’d post the lyrics to the re-write of the song, “I’m on a Boat!” that we did to sum up our adventures. Unfortunately (or possibly fortunately for some of you out there), we were planning to remake the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBCrsaet-2Q) with these lyrics instead, but it rained on the day of our filming. So you’ll either have to picture a bunch of us jumping around the boat, or wait for our next boat trip, because this boat trip sucked compared to our next one!
Enjoy and just know that life really can be that easy and free – with laughter, love and joy – if we let it be!
Chorus
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother-huggin’ boat
I'm on a mother-huggin’ boat, watch me jive
Smooth floatin on the water, in the BVI
On the Halcyon III, straight pimped out ride
You can hug me mother-hugger cause my boat is so fly
Take a better photo, Jim, I'm on a fresh boat trip
We eatin green salad, cause it's oh so crisp
I got my breast pumps… and my flippy flippy floppers,
Anegada, playin pool, chowin vishals lobsters
I'm ridin the dingy, woops, that’s what she said,
Yoga in the mornin’, with the towels on our heads,
Drinkin sport tea, laughin, how sober can we be?
I'm on a boat mother-hugger, wanna snorkel with me?
Chorus I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother-huggin’ boat
I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo
Today really sucks, when compared to tomorrow
Gail and Darryl at the helm, and a boat full of cuties,
Donkeyote and the pirates, yo, Surrender the booty
Handstands, trampolines, straight chillin on a hammock
Just ran out of chocolate, the crew’s in a panic
Fear is an illusion and that’s a fact
But that’s okay mother-hugger, cause we got bushwacked!
Sailed past Branson’s island, who could ask for more
Cheers to him for joining us on the global hug tour.
OneGiving, street smart, front row foundation
Check out our crew, such an inspiration!
Chorus
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother-huggin’ boat
Hey there friends, if you could see us now
Arms spread wide, jumpin off the bow
Gonna get wet, but I just don’t care,
Cause this crazy adventure is for us to share!
I hugged a mermaid
Chorus
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
I'm on a boat I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mother-huggin’ boat!
© Halcyon III crew May 2010
Thanks to the whole crew for the magical mystery boat ride!
Gail Goodwin and Darryl Slattengren with www.inspiremetoday.com
Jim Miotke and Jason Schumaker with www.betterphoto.com
Jon and Mara Berghoff with www.gecresults.com and www.frontrowfoundation.org
Oh yeah and you know me… www.pilarstella.com and www.onegiving.com
Thank you all for the love, light and laughter! ;) p
You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Total Surrender
Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.
~ Unknown
I never really knew what surrender was, let alone total surrender. I was a woman with a plan. I always had a plan, and a back up behind that, and another one after that – a safety hatch, a chicken exit. Recently, I was forced totally let go and not have a plan and to truly trust in the divine order and wisdom of things.
I was on a call with a dear friend of mine, talking about my adventures with OneGiving and all that had recently transpired. You see, this thing called starting up a company is hard – really hard! I guess that is why more people don’t do it. I was telling him about the recent ups and downs – the coming and going of different people on my team. How people start out committed, but when it gets hard their energy wanes and other things take priority. It is a painful process to go through as the visionary and initiator of the dream. People come and go, and you have to let go of the attachment to what it looks like or who starts out and who is going to stick it out.
I told him how over the last month I had truly begun to know what it meant to surrender. My meditation practice had kicked up – I had gone from an hour or two a day to getting out of bed at 3 or 4 am to do not one, not two but three to four hours of meditation and yoga a day. It was the only way I could keep focused to stay the course. It was the only way that I could keep my heart, mind and soul in the game and keeping moving forward with each set back, each loss, each doubt, each fear and each delay.
As I told him the story of the last month and my incremental letting go more and more every day and surrender, he said to me, “You are doing great, yet you are still hanging on to something; you haven’t fully and completely surrendered.” I thought about it for a moment and thought, yeah, I think he might be right. But I could feel it coming on that something was coming to put me into a state of total surrender. I just didn’t realize how soon it would be.
Later that night, my team had a call, that totally and completely disintegrated and the team fell apart into exhaustion, dysfunction and mistrust. Earlier that day, I had felt totally confident and excited going into the call, thinking to myself, I have the perfect team, the perfect mix of brilliant people to pull off this dream in a way no one else has ever thought of, and yes, perhaps the perfect “plan.” Only to be foiled a few hours later. As the call deteriorated, I realized my “perfect” team and my “perfect” plan was no longer.
I hadn’t realized on the call earlier that day that total surrender would be so near, that total surrender would actually hit that night. But it did and I did – totally surrender, that is!
I didn’t grow up believing in God, religion or anything of the sort. I believed that religion was the root of all wars, conflict and trauma on this earth and so by default, didn’t believe in a God. Yet over the past few years, with my own life circumstances, with the deepening of my yoga, meditation and spiritual practice, I had begun to find peace and belief in a higher power, in universal, or divine, wisdom and even had become comfortable with using the word God.
And here and now, with so much of my life invested in this dream of OneGiving, with such a strong calling to keep going and to not give up or quit, I let go of my plan and of complete control and asked for divine guidance to show me the way. I no longer knew what the staircase looked like, just that I needed to take the next step.
When I told my friend, he told me that I had shifted from trust to faith. I guess that is what it means to surrender – to truly let go of the plan we had and to be in complete service and utter faith in that service.
That is what OneGiving has been for me – a journey in service, surrender and believing that what we are creating is not about any ONE of us, but that it is the energy of a movement we are creating. A movement to bring together many not just to facilitate more and easier giving on the planet, but better opportunity for equity, transparency and fairness in giving, in resource exchange and in economic equality. It is not about me, but is about whatever is being created.
As I surrendered into the moment, I realized I didn’t need a plan. Every sign along the journey had and has come at the exact right moment. Not on my timing and in the moment that I thought it should come or wanted it to come, but in exactly the right moment that was needed before I would go completely over the cliff. This is the point of trusting and walking in step with faith and letting go in complete surrender. I also believe it is why so many people hit the breaks just before going over the cliff because it is in that moment that we must truly believe and have faith that we will be caught and the net will appear, yet so few truly believe. This is faith. This is what total and complete surrender has become for me.
~ Unknown
I never really knew what surrender was, let alone total surrender. I was a woman with a plan. I always had a plan, and a back up behind that, and another one after that – a safety hatch, a chicken exit. Recently, I was forced totally let go and not have a plan and to truly trust in the divine order and wisdom of things.
I was on a call with a dear friend of mine, talking about my adventures with OneGiving and all that had recently transpired. You see, this thing called starting up a company is hard – really hard! I guess that is why more people don’t do it. I was telling him about the recent ups and downs – the coming and going of different people on my team. How people start out committed, but when it gets hard their energy wanes and other things take priority. It is a painful process to go through as the visionary and initiator of the dream. People come and go, and you have to let go of the attachment to what it looks like or who starts out and who is going to stick it out.
I told him how over the last month I had truly begun to know what it meant to surrender. My meditation practice had kicked up – I had gone from an hour or two a day to getting out of bed at 3 or 4 am to do not one, not two but three to four hours of meditation and yoga a day. It was the only way I could keep focused to stay the course. It was the only way that I could keep my heart, mind and soul in the game and keeping moving forward with each set back, each loss, each doubt, each fear and each delay.
As I told him the story of the last month and my incremental letting go more and more every day and surrender, he said to me, “You are doing great, yet you are still hanging on to something; you haven’t fully and completely surrendered.” I thought about it for a moment and thought, yeah, I think he might be right. But I could feel it coming on that something was coming to put me into a state of total surrender. I just didn’t realize how soon it would be.
Later that night, my team had a call, that totally and completely disintegrated and the team fell apart into exhaustion, dysfunction and mistrust. Earlier that day, I had felt totally confident and excited going into the call, thinking to myself, I have the perfect team, the perfect mix of brilliant people to pull off this dream in a way no one else has ever thought of, and yes, perhaps the perfect “plan.” Only to be foiled a few hours later. As the call deteriorated, I realized my “perfect” team and my “perfect” plan was no longer.
I hadn’t realized on the call earlier that day that total surrender would be so near, that total surrender would actually hit that night. But it did and I did – totally surrender, that is!
I didn’t grow up believing in God, religion or anything of the sort. I believed that religion was the root of all wars, conflict and trauma on this earth and so by default, didn’t believe in a God. Yet over the past few years, with my own life circumstances, with the deepening of my yoga, meditation and spiritual practice, I had begun to find peace and belief in a higher power, in universal, or divine, wisdom and even had become comfortable with using the word God.
And here and now, with so much of my life invested in this dream of OneGiving, with such a strong calling to keep going and to not give up or quit, I let go of my plan and of complete control and asked for divine guidance to show me the way. I no longer knew what the staircase looked like, just that I needed to take the next step.
When I told my friend, he told me that I had shifted from trust to faith. I guess that is what it means to surrender – to truly let go of the plan we had and to be in complete service and utter faith in that service.
That is what OneGiving has been for me – a journey in service, surrender and believing that what we are creating is not about any ONE of us, but that it is the energy of a movement we are creating. A movement to bring together many not just to facilitate more and easier giving on the planet, but better opportunity for equity, transparency and fairness in giving, in resource exchange and in economic equality. It is not about me, but is about whatever is being created.
As I surrendered into the moment, I realized I didn’t need a plan. Every sign along the journey had and has come at the exact right moment. Not on my timing and in the moment that I thought it should come or wanted it to come, but in exactly the right moment that was needed before I would go completely over the cliff. This is the point of trusting and walking in step with faith and letting go in complete surrender. I also believe it is why so many people hit the breaks just before going over the cliff because it is in that moment that we must truly believe and have faith that we will be caught and the net will appear, yet so few truly believe. This is faith. This is what total and complete surrender has become for me.
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