A Little Reminder to Pay It Forward!

When was the last time you paid it forward?

While I live my life with an attitude of gratitude and I often find ways to pay it forward, I recently had an amazing adventure in paying it forward and reminder of how rewarding it can be for the giver!

I was in Oregon for a wedding of my two really dear friends, Ben and Jamie. One of the nights, a couple of us decided to drive somewhere separate to get a bite to eat, yet when we got to the restaurant it wasn't really what we wanted. So we left!

On the way back to the wine bar where we would be meeting up with the others that evening...our friend Phil said, "Let's each do a dare." We then each had to come up with a dare for the person who's turn it was and they would pick which dare they wanted to do.

The first dare was our friend Zach. He had to walk into a bar and buy a shot for someone at the bar. We got a lot of funny looks as a bunch of young lively hipsters walking into this rural local shady bar. We walked in nervously wondering how he would pull it off. But fortunately as we walked in someone at the bar said, "Hey look it's the band!" That was our in. We started joking that we were sorry we were late and Zach piped in, "Let me buy you a shot." The guy willingly did and we spent a few minutes in the bar chatting with the folks and spreading our good cheer as he took his shot.

We left in a great mood, excited for the adventure ahead of us and we knew these would not just be any dares - but dares that would pay it forward! So we set the intention that all the remaining dares pay it forward.

I was up next. I chose a dare to stand by the side of the road and flag down a car to do something to pay it forward. I got out there and immediately flagged the first car that was passing and two women rolled down the window to see if I was ok. I said yes and looked over at my friends to ask if I needed to get them out of the car, and the two women nearly drove away. My friends said NO and I quickly turned back and said no wait, I am ok...I just wanted to give you $20 and say have a good day and pass it on...pay it forward!

The women were stunned and oh so grateful...they just kept saying thank you so much, oh my god, thank you so much...then they drove off. The four of us giggled like school children with delight! What an amazing feeling to sprinkle a little joy into others lives!

Next we pulled into a parking lot where Phil had to engage someone to get onto the roof of the Toyota Prius that we were driving. He did it. With grace and finesse, within a few minutes Phil had a guy on top of the Toyota with him yelling, "I love trees, I love nature, I love Toyota" as he had convinced them this was for a Toyota commercial to help their business since the Tsunami in Japan had impacted their production capacity! He then gave them an energy bar and $20 and said pay it forward!

They guy and his girlfriend enjoyed the experience and were grateful! Ha! What a total hoot and complete joy to enjoy the moment and share little moments and gifts like these with others!

Finally, we were driving back to town and it was Drew's turn. We had about a half hour before everyone would be meeting us at the wine bar, so Drew had to find some one off the street who would come in and have a glass of wine on us. Drew stopped the first couple that walked by and continued with the Toyota theme. He said he was with Toyota and was trying to give back in the community given the problems with production, so did they want to come join us for a glass of wine. They looked at each other a little perplexed and incredulous and said to each other, "That is random." They then looked at us and in unison said, "Sure, why not."

The young Canadian couple joined us for a glass of wine and we exchanged stories in good cheer and then they went on their way! Again...they were grateful for the interaction with new, fun and different folks...and so were we!

When they left, the four of us looked at each other and hi fived, laughed and reminisced! Wow! How good it feels to pay it forward and pass on good energy, joy and goodness! What a great reminder to do so more often and how doing so we can break through some of our own limitations and barriers and spread a little good cheer in the mean time!

When was the last time you PAID IT FORWARD? Try doing so today...and more often in your life!

You can find me on Twitter @pilarstella and Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1.

Leave Everything Better Than When You Found It!

I started thinking about something a yogi once told me...to leave everything better than when I found it. It seems like one of the most obvious and simple choices we can make in life. No matter how small the interaction - whether in a grocery store or walking down the street or attending a gathering - or how big - from friendships to relationships to partnerships and beyond - if your only intention is to just interact with any one and every one and leave them, and you, better than when you first met or interacted, imagine how the world will be.

I have been living by this principle, consciously, for some time now and it is miraculous how profound the effect is on me. I have almost begun to treat life and my interactions with others as a game. Not in a bad or insincere way, but just in a way that seeks to bring the light and best out of me and others. When I am in a grocery store, I try to engage others with a smile or an extra look in the eye or positive interaction. When I walk down the street, I try to take everything in and walk with a little skip or bounce in my step and smile on my face. When I run an errand, make a business call or email, I try to sprinkle a little light, love and grace onto others.

I can think upon countless interactions in which by just being a little brighter and lighter and sharing that light with others, their mood picks up or at least something shifts. I remember I was at a store once and the person behind the counter was very cranky. It made me sad, so I just gently and softly kept engaging them in little ways, asking them about themselves, being grateful for little things and by the end of the interaction, they had completely shifted.

It reminded me of throwing the stone into the water and watching the ripple effect. That as I seek to be brighter and leave everything better than when I found it, it has the effect of not only impacting that one person, but then that person turns around and shifts in their interactions with others.

Sometimes this is easier to do with strangers than those we love, but even in those interactions with loved ones it has a profound effect. Bringing in an sense of empathy, compassion and gratitude to our loved ones and those around us helps to heal everyone involved. I think about my relationships with friends, family and partners and make an effort so that as I leave every interaction, if I were to ask myself, did you leave them better than when you found them, I can say yes. It definitely takes a constant practice and a consistent effort, but it is worth the outcome and results - for me and I think for them.

Imagine what the world would look like if we could all leave everything better than when we found it. Often times that means meeting people where they are at and interacting genuinely and compassionately not being fake or insincere. Rather, it is about really being present to listen, feel and hear them and or smile at them or breathe deeply to uplift and share your own light with them.

Are you making a conscious effort with every action to leave things better than when you found them? What would it look like for you? Try it on for size and see how your world, and that of those around you, shifts...likely for the better!

You can find me on Twitter @pilarstella and Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1.
This blog is also found at: http://completebalance.com/experts/blog/item/leave-everything-better-than-when-you-found-it.html

Women and Business: A Force for Good to be Reckoned With!

At the 2009 Vancouver Peace Summit, The Dalai Lama said … "The world will be saved by the western woman.”

Every day I am finding more and more evidence of the wisdom of his statement. At a time in history when financial systems have been crashing and companies are collapsing from lack of integrity, transparency and accountability. A different way of doing business – and everything – is emerging and women, as well as minorities, are stepping up for the challenge.

In recent history, investments and business have struggled. Net private domestic investment in the US plunged 94% (to only $54B) from 2006 to 2009. While private investment spending has begun to recover, gross domestic investment in 2010 began to recover, but remained 21% below its peak in Q1 2006 and net private domestic investment remained about 64% below its previous peak. And in 2009, only 3.5% of all private investment spending went toward building up the capital stock. (Data, taken or derived from the most recently revised National Economic Accounts prepared by the Commerce Department’s Bureau of Economic Analysis, June 2010)

During this time, women entrepreneurs and fund managers are demonstrating a new type of business leadership and savvy that truly is setting the stage for a new type of business. The numbers and data are staggering and make the case for looking to women to not only change the face of business, but perhaps even as The Dalai Lama stated, play a leadership role in changing the world.

An Illuminate Ventures report (http://www.illuminate.com/whitepaper/) found:
• Companies most inclusive of women in top management achieve 35% higher return on equity (ROE) and 34% better total return to shareholders versus their peers.
• The average venture-backed company run by a woman had achieved comparable early-year revenues, using an average of 1/3 less committed capital.
• Even these capital-constraints, women-owned businesses are more likely to survive the transition from raw start-up to established company than traditional companies.
• Despite this, in 2008 woman co-founded tech businesses gained less than 10% of venture investment while representing 30% of the workforce.

At the same time, during the period in which traditional investments were dropping, the average return on funds from 2000 to 2009 was 9% for women-managed funds compared to 6% index average. And in 2008, when the average fund’s value dropped 19%, women-managed funds dropped less than 10%. (National Council for Research on Women, 2010)

Data further shows that while women (and minority) fund managers manage less than 2% of retirement assets, they account for >40% of the top quartile of performing funds.

An article in World Pulse magazine (http://www.worldpulse.com/magazine/columns/founders-pulse/the-new-silk-road) aptly wrote:
Women manage money differently, and had there been more women at the helm of investment decisions all along, the worst of the global financial meltdown might have been averted.

The report finds that women—in charge of just 3% of hedge funds and 10% of mutual funds—are more patient and consistent with their investments. They are less apt to take overconfident risks and more likely to integrate detailed and conflicting data into their decisions. Moreover, women-owned funds are more stable and consistently outperform general funds with higher returns.

Microfinance pioneer Mohammed Yunus further demonstrated with Grameen microloans that when given the opportunity, women are more conscientious money managers, maximize/leverage resources and value money. Over 95% of the Grameen loans went to women with 95% good debts, a much higher rate of return than with male borrowers.

The case is growing. Yet despite the trend, there is still much work to be done to support and champion women business owners, leaders and fund managers as discrimination still exists (http://www.bnet.com/blog/business-research/why-women-can-8217t-raise-capital-for-their-businesses/617).

Investing in women, and girls, (http://doc.mediaplanet.com/all_projects/6574.pdf?utm_source=031704pm&utm_medium=fb&utm_campaign=usatodayinsert) could be the best thing you can do, or anyone can do for turning around the economy and getting an equal or better return on investment and in a company that not only creates an economic return, but also a social, environmental and planetary impact!

Maybe there really is something to The Dalai Lama’s wisdom. Whether, western women, or just women, in general, globally uniting to solve some of the planet’s most pressing financial, social and environmental problems – more effectively, more efficiently and more compassionately! Only time will tell, but my bet is that he is on to something!

You can find me on Twitter @pilarstella and Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1 .

Got Meditation?

If you meditate, you probably recognize that it is a must. If you don’t or have never meditated, you may wonder why meditate? There are many reasons for meditation.

More studies are showing the benefits of meditation, including:
• A Harvard study on Mindfulness Meditations: http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2011/01/eight-weeks-to-a-better-brain/ . The study found that people who incorporated Mindfulness meditations into their daily routine for 8 weeks, changes to their gray matter and increased plasticity in their brain, in addition to beneficial impacts on stress and anxiety.
• Another report found Transcendental Meditation to be a benefit to corporations, their employees and their annual health insurance costs: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joel-brokaw/meditation-the-new-corpor_b_793510.html.

I practice a combination of several different types of meditation, including:
• Kundalini Yoga with its powerful meditations that use breath, mantra and poses based on sacred geometry;
• Gong meditations, tied to Kundalini, that use sound currents to move blockages and energy;
• Shaktipat meditation from the tradition of Vethathiri Maharishi and Shivabalayogi Maharaj; and
• Mindfulness meditations from the Buddhist traditions of Shambala and Thich Nhat Hanh.

If you are still wondering why meditate, I had a teacher once gave me the analogy of our minds and computers. When we get a new computer, it functions well, runs quickly and efficiently. However, with time, the computer starts to slow down, get bugs and then begins to crash. If we don’t take out the recycling bin and defragment our computers regularly, they crash more and more often, eventually completely breaking down.

Our mind is no different. When we are born, we have a fresh, open mind. Then with time, we begin to have thoughts and ideas that begin to fill our subconscious. In time, if we do not regularly empty the “recycling bin,” those thoughts become paralyzing programs that weigh us down and slow us down. Our minds become full and then our bodies start to show signs of weakness, illness and disease. If we regularly meditate, we take this trash out and our body, mind and spirit stay in harmony and alignment. We don’t get bogged down with so many heavy and paralyzing thoughts. If we meditate regularly, our brain functions better, our endocrine and regulatory systems work better and the rest of our body, organs and systems function better.

Personally, meditation has been a saving grace in my life. I went through a really dark period in my life – in which I suffered both physically and mentally. My body had pretty much shut down, my mental and emotional state was significantly impaired and my spirit was broken. I had gone to doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists. I was on many different medications and was told I had all sorts of different mental and physical problems. I wasn’t sleeping, I was depressed and I was totally in despair. When the doctors told me I had mood swings, I kept telling them, it was energy not mood. They didn’t listen.

When I finally discovered meditation and Kundalini yoga, my life changed. Literally, within 6 months of doing both for anywhere from 5-30 minutes a day, I was off of every medication I had ever been on and both my physical and mental health challenges dissipated. The Kundalini yoga and meditation enabled me to manage my own energy system. In fact, I had been right all along about my situation. I knew that it wasn’t mood swings, but energy swings and once I had some tools to manage my situation, my health and life turned around.

Many people I know say they would love to meditate but they are too Type A and they can’t shut their mind off. I too was a Type A person. The point of meditation isn’t to still the mind or shut the mind off, but rather train the mind. I think one of the biggest failings of people who teach meditation is if they tell their students to still or quiet their minds. My belief is this is the number one way to have a student quit or give up on meditation. Rather, particularly at the beginning, if you encourage a student to just allow any and all the thoughts to come in, even sometimes have a little notebook nearby to clear the mind immediately after (and sometimes during), then you give them permission to allow their thoughts to clear out.

As I said, when you start meditating, you will have more to clear out, so more thoughts may come flooding in. This doesn’t mean you can’t do it or you aren’t good at it, it is NORMAL! So keep going. Sit comfortably and allow yourself and your mind to relax as though you are sitting peacefully in a bath or hot tub. Just allow the thoughts to flow. If you want to focus on a mantra you can or you can just pay attention to your breath or you can focus on your third eye or brow point or just relax and observe all of the flow of thoughts and emotions that move through you. In time, these will slow. But some days will be better than others and just know that if you are sitting there, that is a good beginning.

One of the best things to do is to start by just getting up 5 minutes early and going to bed 5 minutes early and sitting up and meditating for 5 minutes twice a day. Then work your way up to longer periods. If you want, a good break during the day can totally reset you – whether for a minute or longer.

Whatever you do start small so that you can keep up. Then grow your practice as you see and feel the benefits unfold in your life. It really is magic, if you allow yourself to give in to the gifts that meditation unveils.

Here are some resources on meditation:
www.selfawareness.com, www.tm.org, www.goodhappens.org, www.deerparkmonastery.org, www.shambhala.org, www.dharma.org
Happy Meditating!

You can find me on Twitter @pilarstella and Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1

Supplements For Thought!

I recently rediscovered supplements and how fantastic they make me feel. They have given me more energy and just helped stabilize my energy levels and health. So I thought I would share with you some of the supplements that I have incorporated into my life….I do not recommend them for everybody, however, I always wondered what to start with and these are a few that I discovered through friends, doctors, healers and others that had some amazing wisdom to share with me.

PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so these are just some that work for me. If you are considering using supplements and/or are on any other medications, you might want to check in with a doctor or your naturopathic doctor to learn more and see how they might affect you or interact with your current regimen.

Cayenne – Cayenne is great for helping with stomach and overall digestive health. One thing that is counterintuitive is that it helps with ulcers. My recommendation is to start with a lower heat index (like 40,000 units and work your way up). Some more information can be found at: http://www.cayennepepper.info/health-benefits-of-cayenne-pepper.html

Cinnamon – Cinnamon is used for colds, gas, nausea, diarrhea, diabetes, indigestion and painful menstrual cycles. It helps balance blood sugar levels if taken in capsule form (if it hits the saliva that undoes these benefits) and is believed to improve circulation, vitality and energy levels. http://altmedicine.about.com/od/cinnamon/a/cinnamon.htm and http://www.homeremediesweb.com/cinnamon_health_benefits.php

Turmeric – Turmeric is an ayurvedic herb that has been used over the centuries for its healing properties. It is known for its anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory and anti-oxidant properties. It helps circulation and promote liver, heart and digestive health, among many other things. http://www.nutritional-supplement-educational-centre.com/turmeric-benefits.html

Rhodiola – Rhodiola is an herbal remedy that helps regulate your glandular and endocrine system, minimizing the effects of stress and almost acting to disable your from reacting to stress. It also helps with migraines, heart problems and supports natural weight loss. http://www.herbalremedies.com/readmorabamh.html and http://www.yourbodycanheal.com/herb-rhodiola-rosea.html

Ashwagandha (Winter Cherry) – has a tonifying effect that helps your body equilibrate and come into balance. So if you have some hormones that are overstimulated and others that are under stimulated, it helps to bring them back into balance. It also helps with immunity, energy, helps your nervous system, endocrine and cardiovascular systems. Because it can be relaxing, it is best to take at night. It is also an antioxidant and anti stress and supports fertility. http://www.herbwisdom.com/herb-ashwagandha.html

Probiotics – Probiotics are a healthy type of bacteria that are known for promoting digestive and overall health. Probiotic help multiply friendly or good bacteria in your system. One important thing to note, when you are taking probiotics, it is best to eat healthy when you are dosing up on probiotics so the bacteria in your digestive system that multiply are good. Also, if you take antibiotics, it is critical to take lots of probiotics as the “anti biotic” kills good and bad bacteria in your system which can allow for the bad bacteria to grow back in force. When too many bad bacteria are in your system it may cause digestive problems, sluggishness, candida, headaches and more. http://www.health.harvard.edu/fhg/updates/update0905c.shtml and http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/health-benefits-of-probiotics/

Xylitol – Xylitol is a natural sweetener derived from fibrous vegetable and fruit cell walls. In addition to being an amazing sugar substitute, it is also an anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-aging remedy. It is good for your teeth and periodontal health, stabilizes insulin and hormone levels, contributes to weight loss and bone density, and promotes good health. http://www.laleva.cc/food/xylitol.html and http://ezinearticles.com/?Healthy-Benefits-of-Xylitol&id=358103 and http://www.zhion.com/digestion/XYLITOL.html

Evening Primrose Oil – EPO has benefits for your metabolism, cholesterol, premenstrual syndrome, migraines and more. http://www.herbwisdom.com/herb-evening-primrose.html and http://www.homeremediesweb.com/evening-primrose-oil-health-benefits.php

One other thing I will say is when you start a supplement regimen, start small. Get used to taking a few and then over time add in others. The last thing you want to do is start strong and then peter off. So keep it simple, pick one supplement to start with, get into the habit of taking supplements with or between meals and then add to those as you become more habituated. The last thing you want to do is have a bad reaction to one and then throw the whole bunch out.

This is just supplements for thought from a resident non-health expert but someone who’s always been fascinated and obsessed with being healthy!

You can find me on Twitter @pilarstella and Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

I recently got to thinking about the Wizard of Oz and the wonderful analogy that the Yellow Brick Road is...

It reminds me of life. Just like in the movie, it is not about getting to some overhyped destination to see some Wizard to give us things that we think we want or don't have. But rather, we got it all going on right here and now, if we pay attention and accept our own greatness and the gifts and abundance along our way.

It is funny. I wrote a book about living in the moment (www.beingthepresent.com) and I still have so much to learn and need constant reminders to stay present.

I used to be such a planner and lately I feel as though, I haven't been able to plan ahead even if I try. Literally, it is like the Universe is playing a trick on me to get me to really BE present. Every time I try to plan more than a few days out, something changes and I have to shift everything.

I am finally starting to give in and just plan almost moment to moment. It seems that in doing so I am able to appreciate all that the Yellow Brick Road has to offer. I can take in the sights, the poppies, the clean air, my friends and appreciate it all - even visits from the wicked witch or the fairy godmother.

And Oz, now isn't that an interesting analogy. So often we make our destination out to be something so big or someone so important. We put them on a pedestal and think wow they've gotten there they must be all that - we aggrandize them in our minds. Yet, when we get there we realize, wow, they are human too, and gee, I'm better at things than I ever give myself credit for.

So, maybe for just a moment every day or more often, if you can just look around, smell the flowers and appreciate YOUR Yellow Brick Road. If it isn't what you want, look for what you like and want in it and make it what you want, see it for what you want and see yourself for all that you are.

Rather, than waiting to get to the land of Oz and be disappointed, enjoy your Yellow Brick Road. This is your life! Be here now. Choose in and make it all that you can!

You can find me on Twitter @pilarstella and Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1

Giving for Thought: JAPAN

I recently posted a comment to Mashable’s article (http://pilarstella.blogspot.com/2011/03/commentary-on-mashable-31611.html) on 7 Simple Ways to Help the Japan Earthquake and Tsunami (http://mashable.com/2011/03/13/japan-earthquake-tsunami-help-donate/).

I also have been asked by many, where is the best place to give? So I thought I would write a quick blog with my recommendations. First, some thoughts to consider when choosing where to give:
- Before texting to give, do your homework and make sure it is a quality texting company and be aware that many texting solutions have high overhead and take time to get to the nonprofit.
- Before using social media, like with texting, make sure you check out the organization and source as it might be easier and more “simple,” but it might not be the quickest, most effective or efficient way to get your funds to the need.
- Choose a nonprofit that is established and has been on the ground in the country/location you are giving to.
- If it is important to you to designate where to give do so. Otherwise, general operating or unrestricted grants allow the nonprofits and people on the ground determine their most urgent needs.
- In general, just be careful to do your homework on the organization you give to. Don’t respond quickly/emotionally to a plea for money before double checking the source and validity.

Now, here’s a couple of organizations worth checking out:
Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/ MSF is an international humanitarian organization that provides aid to in nearly 60 countries to people whose survival is threatened by violence, neglect, or catastrophe, primarily due to armed conflict, epidemics, malnutrition, exclusion from health care, or natural disasters. MSF received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1999. Here’s a note on their efforts in Japan: http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/news/article.cfm?id=5098&cat=field-news

AmeriCares href="http://www.americares.org/">http://www.americares.org/ AmeriCares is a nonprofit disaster relief and humanitarian aid organization which provides immediate response to emergency medical needs – and supports long-term humanitarian assistance programs – for all people around the world, irrespective of race, creed or political persuasion. Since its founding in 1982, AmeriCares has delivered more than $9 billion in aid to 147 countries. Historically, for every $100 donated, AmeriCares is able to deliver more than $3,500 in humanitarian relief to people in need, including medicines, medical supplies, nutritional supplements and other vital aid. Article about their efforts in Japan: http://www.americares.org/newsroom/news/americares-helping-to-send-supplies-japan-shelters.html

Mercy Corps http://www.mercycorps.org/ Mercy Corps is dedicated to alleviating suffering poverty and oppression by improving health and promoting economic and educational growth. Since 1979, Mercy Corps has provided $1.7 billion in assistance to people in 107 nations. Mercy Corps incorporates entrepreneurial strategies with a deep knowledge and commitment to local context and culture to create self sufficiency and sustainability. MercyCorps’ worldwide team is in 36 countries is improving the lives of 19 million people. Article on their Japan efforts: http://www.mercycorps.org/japanearthquake

International Rescue Committee http://www.rescue.org/ The International Rescue Committee is a global leader in emergency relief that responds to the world’s worst humanitarian crises and helps people to survive and rebuild their lives. Founded in 1933 at the request of Albert Einstein, the IRC offers lifesaving care and life-changing assistance to refugees forced to flee from war or disaster. IRC is on the ground in over 40 countries to restore safety, dignity and hope to millions who are uprooted by providing emergency relief, relocating refugees and rebuilding lives. Article about Japan efforts: http://www.rescue.org/news/irc-helps-3-japanese-aid-groups-respond-quake-disaster-10393

Relief International http://www.ri.org/ Relief International is a humanitarian non-profit agency that provides emergency relief, rehabilitation, development assistance, and program services to vulnerable communities worldwide. Relief International is solely dedicated to reducing human suffering and is non-political and non-sectarian in its mission. Relief International was founded in 1990 with programsin health, education, community development, agriculture, food, income generation, shelter construction and conflict resolution. Efforts for Japan relief include: http://www.ri.org/newsroom/news-article.php?ID=10

Thank you for your donations, healing and support! Thank you for BEing the change!

You can find me on Twitter @pilarstella and Facebook at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1