It Really Does Take a Village!

I am regularly reminded that it really does take a village! Most recently I was reminded of this by the outpouring of support that I have received from friends – near and far, old and new, and even from ones I haven’t met personally, yet have through, yep, you guessed it, none other than Facebook – for my Rappel against Cancer! I signed up to do this wild and crazy rappel “Denver Over the Edge” (http://www.denverovertheedge.com/) – off a 31 story building (1600 Glenarm) in Denver, CO on July 8, 2011 to benefit the Colorado Cancer League (www.cancerleague.org). This is the third annual but my first time - http://www.denverovertheedge.com/Pilar_Stella/!

I was inspired to do so for many reasons. First, in the last year, I have met a couple of people through my efforts to find investors for my company OneGiving (http://www.onegiving.com/) who had done the rappel in 2009 and 2010. When I heard about it in 2010, just a few weeks after the event, I thought to myself, I want to do that. One of the individuals I met who did it is a man named Shane Feiman who told me of his story of the rappel and how he did it together with his wife Amy. He is inspiring and has become an amazing friend and advocate in some of my own professional and personal journeys…he is doing it again this year - http://www.denverovertheedge.com/shane_feiman/.

A few months later I met a woman, Courtney Mizel - who had survived breast cancer and had done the event in 2010 after surviving cancer. She is a bright, passionate and spunky woman who reminded me a lot of myself and I instantly took a liking to her! During the first year of the event she was in cancer treatment, chemo, radiation and the rest of it and had a good friend of hers rappel in honor of her and the second year, last year, she did it with him together as a survivor! I was touched! She is doing it again this year - we are doing it together... http://www.denverovertheedge.com/Courtney_Mizel/!

A while later, both Shane and Courtney had told me I needed to meet a man named Gary that we would really hit it off. When I met with him, I realized that he was the guy who had rappelled in honor of Courtney the year in 2009 and with her in 2010. This year he is doing it again and http://www.denverovertheedge.com/gary_reece/ together with all of us. Gary is the President of the Cancer League, and his wife was the President before him. The Colorado Cancer League is a fully volunteer organization.

I feel so grateful to be able to participate in such an exciting adventure with people who have such depth of spirit, passion, purpose and compassion and live their lives to the fullest with respect for others and honoring themselves in each and every moment. I feel lucky and humbled to join them this year!

In addition to doing it because I was inspired by others, I decided to do it as a symbol and reminder to myself of all the fears, challenges – personal and professional, physical and mental –and obstacles that I have overcome in my journey. In my 20’s I over came many health scares – including early stage melanoma and cervical cancer – among other things.

For a period of time my health challenges got the best of my mental state of being. Until one day I woke up and realized that it was all in my attitude. I was feeling defeated and wondered if I really wanted to be living or not. It took me a while to choose in. But when I realized I did want to be here, I chose in – fully, wholly, completely! I decided to move forward in my life and take each breath deeply, each step passionately and appreciate each moment fully! I chose in fully to life.

Doing this rappel reminds me of all of the fears and obstacles I have overcome in the past few years and in my life as well in my move to California to go after my dreams and life purpose. I am dedicated to living with courage, not cowering in front of my fears, but rather standing up to them and overcoming them. This rappel represents what I have overcome with my health, in my life and with my most recent challenges tied to starting my company OneGiving and living a life of purpose, passion and authenticity. I know that whatever comes of it all, I will be ok, no matter what…because I have my positive attitude and an outlook on life that finds the opportunity in even the hardest challenges. I hope that others too may know that they can really do anything they put their minds too…it is just about standing up to our fears and the unknown, believing and having the courage to keep going forward!

Probably most of all, I am reminded by moments like these how it really does take a village! I am soo grateful for all the friends, loved ones and even new people in my life, who have stepped up to support me in my endeavor – with words of love, encouragement, donations and more! At a moment in my life, that I needed just another little umph or push of support – I received it in abundance. I am grateful for the angels who have showed up throughout my life at just the right moments! I would never be where I am or whom I am without those words of encouragement!

Thank you to all of you who sent donations large and small…and words of support and encouragement even if you couldn’t donate. It didn’t matter if I received just a note or a $1 donation – every little bit counts! Thank you for reminding me of the wisdom and truth of our OneGiving tag line – The Power of ONE has the Strength of Many! Remember that the next time you doubt for a minute that you are all alone…just reach out, look around and take time to support and cultivate your Village!

Many thanks to…Trish, Goodspeed & Merrill, Myrna, Ben, Ivana & Jon, Scott, Kim, Mariah, Debbie & Dave, Susan, Maryna, Tina, Cynthia, Francine, Faradee, Martin, Mark, Patrick, Melanie, Drew & Zach, Deb, John & Ashlee, Arthur, Jodi, Farzad & Parandis, Jack & The Jaffe Family Foundation, Terry, Phyllis, Leslie, Jennifer, Elisabeth & Jeff, Shane, Courtney, Gary, Kay, Sandi, George, Carrie, Naina, Ryan, Reshma, Francoise, George, Elizabeth, Baeth, Kerry…and so many more of you!

If anyone still wants to donate…you are more than welcome to go to: http://www.denverovertheedge.com/Pilar_Stella/! Let it inspire you and represent your commitment to fighting cancer and/or overcoming all of your fears and obstacles and living life to the fullest!

In peace, love and gratitude ;) p

Inspired, Inspiring, Inspirational!

Every day I wake up excited at the idea of how I will be inspired today! I wrote an article a few months ago for Inspire Me Today's blog about inspiration.
http://www.inspiremetoday.com/archiveDisp.php?type=0&ref=789

I regularly have friends, colleagues and even total strangers thank me for inspiring them. I thank them back and remind them that they inspire themselves and others.

If you start with "I", InspIratIon leads to magic, miracles and dreams beyond your wildest imagination. ~ Pilar Stella

Seriously though, we all have a choice...between fear and love, joy and pain, negativity and positivity. I have lived my life in the negative and it didn't really work that well. I was angry, sick and honestly pretty darn miserable.

So I had a choice to CHOOSE IN to life, really choose in, or to choose out. While I still may have bad days or even bad things happen to me, today, I choose in fully to my life and every day I look for little reminders, little nuggets of inspiration to keep me going.

Probably one of my biggest inspirations are youth! The youth of today have a long road ahead of correcting the mistakes that our generation and past generations have created - with environmental, social and economic trials. Yet, they are a generation that continues to push for green solutions, to give globally and to speak out for equality, justice and freedom.

I go surfing with young adults from inner city LA and while their lives are not always filled with brightness, they bring a spirit that inspires passion, excitement and joy in me every time I am with them. I leave renewed, refilled and rejuvenated - grateful for all that I have.

They remind me to choose in, every day. They remind me to take action, when I am dissatisfied or frustrated with the way things are. They remind me to never ever give up with the hope, passion and courage that they live their lives with in every moment.

So for this fall season, I leave you with a few videos that have inspired me and reminded me to NEVER EVER GIVE UP and to keep inspiring others and being inspired! May we all live in peace, love and joy! Enjoy!

Maya Angelou and Still I Rise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqOqo50LSZ0&feature=related

William McDonough: The Wisdom of Designing Cradle to Cradle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoRjz8iTVoo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Nick Vujicic: I Love Living Life. I am Happy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTNac&feature=related

Now is the Time. MLK, Jr. Sings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0F4iXEzOqY

The Girl Who Silenced the World for 5 minutes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQmz6Rbpnu0

Thank you for inspiring me and reminding me to keep going in the pursuit of my dreams. When you fail, try and try again until you get there...because you WILL get there!

Will the Western Woman Really Save the World?

The world will be saved by the western woman. ~The Dalai Lama, Vancouver Peace Summit 2009

I believe The Dalai Lama's statement to be true, particularly because I believe that I am one of these Western women that is part of being the change in this world. However, through my own experiences in creating a company to do just that – help change the world – I am realizing my own self limiting beliefs and self sabotage that whether familial, societal or just self imposed keep me from fully making that happen. I think in order for us as Western women to truly make that happen a couple key things need to shift in us, by us and for us in order for this to happen…

First, we must stop apologizing. I can’t tell you the amount of times, when I work with women, that women apologize for every misstep, missed action or inappropriate gesture. The beauty of women is that we care, we truly care and worry about others and the impacts of our actions on others. We have empathy. We can feel others and we are sensitive to anything that can negatively impact others. This doesn’t mean that we need to apologize every time we are delayed in returning a phone call or forget all together or we don’t live up to something we have committed to. I don't see men apologizing as often. In fact, I think they recognize that failure and messing up is just part of the process. If we just started to set a few more boundaries and more realistic expectations and didn’t try to take it all on, we wouldn’t find the need to apologize all the time. Save yourself and others the time and energy from apologizing all the time and set boundaries, realistic expectations and you won’t disappoint others, you won’t feel bad and you certainly won’t have to apologize so often.

We must stop doubting, questioning and second guessing ourselves. This is a big one I have experienced in my own journey, particularly in the journey to get investors for my company. I don’t know the world of seeking investors, I am learning by fire and it isn’t always easy, particularly because I wasn't raised in this world. So I second guess myself, a lot, too much in fact. Every step I take, every new experience that is unfamiliar (which is about 99% of them at this point), I question and doubt myself. When I look around in the world, I notice that I am not the only woman who does this. I don’t know if it is biology, sociology or something else all together, but it seems as though more women question and self doubt themselves than men. There is some inherent quality in men that is almost entitled, built with courage, built with an expectation of success or an understanding that failure is just expected and so with every failure comes an opportunity for success. Perhaps it is my own upbringing, but it seems to me that I am not alone in my observation, there are many women out there who suffer from this. What if we could walk into meetings with the same confidence, knowingness and self belief as our male counterparts? What if we could put aside the doubt and see and believe the end result will be at least as good, if not better than we imagined and that we are worthy and deserving of that outcome? Then the world would truly begin to experience the impact and outcomes that we are here to create.

We need to stop being afraid to claim that we are experts. Why is it that it is very easy for men to say that they are experts in an area, but rather as women we say we are knowledgeable? There is something inherent in women that we feel that if we don’t know it all, we can’t say we are an expert. Yet, when we are approached by others, we know the full expanse of an issue, the continuum of factors related to those issues and we see things from a multidimensional perspective that allow us to very often have a unique 360 degree view of a subject, we still deny that we are experts. Rather, men often times are more able earlier on to say they are experts and then fake it until they make it, as the saying goes. What if we began to say we were experts and prove it along the way with our unique world view and multidimensional perspectives?

We must stop bootstrapping. Again, I am not sure why it is, but it seems like there is some sort of underground club, that allows men to reach out and ask for more with confidence and usually get it. Rather, women, we tend to ask for less and then bootstrap our way through it and make it work, but at what cost? What if we stopped setting limitations and started reaching for the sky and asking for what we are worth and what we really need? I am always amazed at what we accomplish on the limited budgets we start out with. What if we actually started getting budgets worthy of the true vision of what we were creating? Imagine how much we could accomplish! It is kind of like Mohammed Yunnus who revolutionized microlending and gave women small loans only to show that they were the most responsible with money and the return on investment was a lot higher and paid back a lot quicker because of their keen respect for the true value of money. Can you imagine if the world started investing more in women and their ideas and visions, how much more incredible the world would be? What could we really accomplish if we stopped bootstrapping and started advocating for, fighting for and standing up for what was really needed to achieve these goals? Imagine the return on investment it would have on the world!

While each of these things may not apply to all women, I believe they are some of the reasons we are not quite there yet, but we are close, oh so close. Could you imagine what the world will be like, when we as women stop getting in our own way and start speaking our truths, living our truths and walking in the courage and confidence of all that we are and all that we are here to be and do? And what if the rest of the world started opening up to the possibilities, supporting these visions and like Mohammed Yunnus gave women the chance to truly change the world for the better?

I believe it is all possible and that believe starts with me first and foremost. Me believing in me. Me not apologizing. Me not second guessing and self doubting. Me knowing that I am an expert. Me not bootstrapping and asking for less. Me standing up with courage and strength to speak my truth. By doing this I believe and know that the world will be a better place and me as a western woman and we as western women will indeed save, or change, the world!

You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.