Sunday, August 30, 2009

The In-Between Time

Wow! I recently read a paragraph that really hit home and resonated with me. I am sharing it with you below because it helped me to breathe a sigh of relief for where I am at in my life and hopefully can do the same for you, that is, if it resonates with you.

It was uncomfortable to let go of my past before there was any evidence of something new. It was also disquieting to release the way I had always seen myself-my identity, so to speak. Getting rid of so many things that defined who I was left me with a tremendous void that danced in the pit of my stomach. However, I really believe that if you want to create something wonderful in your life, if you truly want to make a big change, you’ve got to learn to tolerate the “in-between” time. That’s the period in which we let go of who we know ourselves to be in order to allow for the possibility of who we might become. ~Katherine Woodward Thomas from Calling in the One

I think I am smack dab in the middle of the in-between time, as she so appropriately puts it. Or perhaps, I may actually have just recently crested the hill and have begun making my way slowly down the other side. Let me tell you, it sure does come with its discomforts, awkwardness and bumps along the way. But I guess I must really welcome that in, because I know one thing for sure and that is that I really am alive and living fully.

Just over a year ago, I walked away from my comfortable consulting career in Denver, Colorado. I really enjoyed what I did and was well respected. You probably can't ask for more than that. But, of course I did.

Externally, it probably seemed to many as though I had it all going for me. But one thing was clear to me. Even though I enjoyed what I did, I realized it wasn't fully my life purpose. I knew it was a tool and a stepping stone towards my life purpose, but wasn't completely in alignment with who I was and my authentic self. Yet I didn't know exactly what that was either. I just knew that wasn't it and the longer I postponed addressing it, the worse I began to feel. I felt knots in my stomach and constriction in my throat. I had real physical symptoms affecting my ability to keep moving forward as I had for as long as I had known.

So I made a change - and a pretty BIG one at that. I shared with my clients, friends and family that I was leaving Denver to move to LA. For what they asked? I still wasn't quite sure. But one thing I did know was I needed to find out or risk shriveling away and dying from just this overwhelming constriction.

The last year has been full of ups and downs and all arounds. As I came to LA, it became clear why I had come and what I was here to do as business partners and people started appearing around me to help me in my purpose. I realized I stepped out to follow my dream of creating OneGiving ( to connect people around the world in giving and raise awareness, visibility and voice for nonprofits and causes around the world; to empower individuals, corporations, celebrities and other donors to give with more knowledge, resources, accountability and passion; and ultimately, to make a difference for people, profit and the planet.

What has been amazing in this effort of building my dream and following my heart and inner guidance is the transformation and peace I am finding within myself. That is what Katherine Woodward Thomas talked about when she talked about the in-between time to allow for the possibility of who we might become. There are days that I wonder, well who am I becoming? And days that I hold on to what I had done or who I was in the past.

The reality is that I am learning to trust myself. I am learning to be myself - authentically and truly in every moment. I am learning what I love and what I don't love. I am learning my boundaries. I am learning what I am willing to go to bat for and what I am willing to walk away from. I am learning to make choices that are 100% right for me and not always right for those people around me. I am learning to let go of so many of the obstacles and the drama that has kept me out of alignment in my life. I am learning to allow, appreciate and even embrace the in-between time.

It really is a beautiful journey, but let me tell you, it can be really uncomfortable at moments. For me, letting go of so many of the things I was taught--the fears, the worries, the obstacles, the drama and beyond are not easy. But if I let go and allow the discomfort to come through and then pass over like a wave, I can come up for air and really breathe in fully knowing that I am becoming more fully, truly and authentically me with every breath and every moment. There is nothing more valuable or precious in that.

So if you get caught in the "in-between time," allow it to be what it is and honor, nurture and love yourself through it. Don't use it as an excuse to resist the changes and go back to the old ways. Allow it to help you usher in the new ways, no matter how uncomfortable they may be. Watch your life and the magic unfold before you, as you discover so many beautiful gifts about yourself that you may never have known if you hadn't tolerated the in-between time and allowed them to come in.

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1 comment:

  1. So beautifully put! I am you!!!


    OH thank you for sharing, sister!

    BEAUTIFUL! Straight from the heart! What a soul-jah you are!!