Looking Back at 2011 to Look Forward to 2012

As I reflect back on the year of 2011 for me, I can appreciate all that I have learned and gotten out of this year. I have accomplished a lot and also failed a lot. I am grateful for both. I have taken risks, which have taught me lessons, I might never have learned had I never tried. Over and over, I have been reminded to truly appreciate the moments and lessons along the journey - no matter how wonderful or painful - for they each come with their own gifts!

So I share with you a look back at 2011. I am sharing 12 memories or lessons, that inspired, informed or shaped my life in some way. I have categorized them across physical, mental, spiritual and emotional realms as I believe that balance in our lives is like the four tires of a car across these realms. If one or more tires are out of balance, then my whole life can get a little rocky and imbalanced. As I strive to find more balance in my life, here are 12 lessons, from 2011, to inform more peace and harmony in my life for 2012! (I know this is a lot of information, but it is a recap, so check out what you want, discard the rest!)

Mental (Intellectual/Biz)

1. A VC's wisdom. I have to say, I am not the biggest fan of all VC's (Venture Capitalists to some, Vulture Capitalists to others ;). However, that being said, one VC that stands out and writes remarkable, informative blog posts is Fred Wilson. He writes almost every day and shares wisdom from his daily experience as a VC that are insightful. His blog is www.avc.com and a recent blog post and video that stood out for me was about business and sustainability that is long, but worth watching, particularly the last few minutes if you have it in you: http://www.avc.com/a_vc/2011/10/lineage.html.
2. Women as a Force for Good. Being that I am a woman in business, I am extremely passionate about our place in business, technology, startups, and investing to both transform business, but also have an impact on the planet. We are the voices for a new sustainable, responsible and conscious capitalism that can make business a force for good! Here are some of my blogs and other interesting articles reminding us of the power (and limitations) of women worth checking out can be found in my recent blog: The Next Steve Jobs...A Chick!
3. The loss of Steve Jobs. Whether you liked him or not, Steve Jobs's passing this year was a loss of a great mind. My favorites included his tribute to The Crazy Ones and his Stanford Graduation Address. But for the good, there was also the not as well known Dark Side of Jobs. And finally, my favorite a recent article about the next Steve Jobs being a CHICK...Amen to that!

Physical

4. Sugar is bad, mKay?! I know I probably won't win a popularity award condemning sugar around the holidays, but it is worth knowing ALL of the negative implications of sugar and some better alternatives, including: Xylitol and Stevia. More at my Sugar Blog.
5. Food Matters. What you put in your body - matters - you are what you eat! Evidence shows that every cell in our bodies is replaced somewhere between every year to within seven years. Given that, the implications of studies by Masaru Emoto on water, and the film Food Matters, our bodies are impacted by our thoughts, the food we eat and supplements, so remember to take better care of your body! More at my blogs: You are What You Eat and Supplements for Thought.
6. Surfing, a great metaphor for life. My passion for surfing has translated into so many lessons in my life. It reminds me to keep getting up, even when I'm knocked down, to have patience, to be present and to be persistent and perseverant. More at my Surfing Blog.

Spiritual

7. Giving Back. The earthquake in Japan early in the year set the tone for the year - one of giving, one of deep shifts in our planet's consciousness, and the recognition that we are all connected. Giving's visibility and impact grew throughout the year, which leaves us with reminders that in giving we receive! Some of my blogs on Japan and a three part series giving this year include: Giving for Thought-Japan; Look at Giving Part 1, Giving Part 2, Giving Part 3.
8. Occupy Wallstreet. While some might not put this in the spiritual category, I am putting it here because it is a call for more consciousness and responsibility in finance, business and government. The movement of OccupyWallSt can be tracked at their website: http://occupywallst.org/. Though some of the most powerful moments from the Occupy movement recently that occurred at UC Davis were captured both in Words and in Pictures. Of A good reminder that even in a "free country" and the "greatest democracy on earth," we still have to stay awake and make sure that our freedoms don't get widdled away. Democracy requires consciousness on each of our parts to stay awake and stand up, when necessary, for what we believe in to make this world a better place.
9. The Power of Meditation and the Aquarian Age. Whether you are a believer or not, increasing evidence is coming out about the benefits of meditation - not only to relieve stress, but actually to heal and to improve our efficiency in life and in business (Got Meditation Blog). Additionally, we have entered the Aquarian Age, which is about bringing more balance, feminine energy and healing to the planet (Aquarian Age Blog). Some of my blogs remind us to Breathe, Pay it Forward, and Leave Everything Better Than When You Found It!

Emotional

10. Joy and Laughter. Life just wouldn't be the same without giggles, laughter and joy. So don't forget to have a sense of humor! Here are two funny reminders that made me laugh this year: a Letter to Ryan Gosling that definitely got a giggle out of me and some of my friends ;) and a Video Compilation of parents playing tricks on their kids for Halloween, funny! Laughter - pass it on!
11. Overcoming Fear. I recently read a quote by Michael J. Fox: "The only thing that separates any one of us from excellence is fear and the opposite of fear is faith." It was a good reminder that in order to overcome our fears, we have to face our fears and go through them (or around them), but not let them stop us - as was my Super P Rappel Against Cancer. Sometimes we have to allow ourselves to feel the fear and even let it slow us down - Even Superheroes Have Bad Days! Just as long as we remember to get back up afterwards!
12. All you need is LOVE. This year hasn't been a big one for me for finding love outside of myself, but it was a good one for finding love within, accepting myself unconditionally and even falling in love with myself. In doing so, I also have realized how important love is...it really is all you need and meeting someone who loves you ain't so bad either...I guess that's something to look forward to in 2012! Perhaps I am learning the Keys to the Castle. And if not, I've always got the Beatles to remind me!

Happy Holidays and New Year! May 2012 be your best year yet!

You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella1 and twitter @pilarstella.

Surfing: A Great Metaphor for Life!

As we enter the fall, and conclude the summer season, we may find some lessons from this summer that may inform us as we move forward. For me, what better place than starting with surfing. Surfing is a great metaphor for life. I have done many different sports. I have been an athlete my whole life - from swimming to lacrosse to gymnastics to soccer to tennis to cycling to triathlons to track and field to skiing to mountaineering to rock climbing and beyond. Yet, none have translated more to my life than surfing.

Many of you know my passion and excitement for surfing. It has been a transformative force in my life since I moved to LA three years ago (can you believe it?)! When I got here, I knew I wanted to learn how to surf. I heard about several surf programs like Youth Mentoring Connection (www.youthmentoring.org) and Stoked (www.stoked.org) that took at risk youth to the beach to learn to surf. That was it - a perfect combination of my passions - giving back, youth, the beach and, hopefully soon, surfing! I attended one event my first summer and decided to come back out the following summer. I "co-taught" the youth to surf and learned in the process - what could be better. It wasn't until fall of last year 2010 that I became hooked and officially bought a board, wetsuit and became a "real surfer."

It has been in these last nine months of surfing that I have learned so much from surfing that has helped me grow in my personal, professional and spiritual life. Here are a few lessons that I have learned from surfing that can be translated to life.

1.Every time you fall down, get back up. There is no other sport I have done that you fall off EVERY time and have to get back up to go again. What an incredible reminder for life. So many of us are trained to be afraid of trying things because we are afraid to fail. Yet with surfing, it is expected that you will fall off over and over again. Very quickly it teaches us to try things and be ok with risk and failure. It becomes second nature and teaches us that failure leads to learning and opportunity which then leads to improvement and success.

2.Patience pays. How many times in life do you want things to happen now and on your time and they don't? The waves are no different. There is nothing like sitting out on the water on a day when the waves and sets have a mind of their own and decide to come on their own time. You can get upset and frustrated that they aren't coming or you can accept it and look around, enjoy the scenery, breathe, feel the wind in your hair, the sunrise or sunset, the people chatting and laughing around you and fully take in the moment. Exercising a little patience goes a long way in life, as well as surfing.

3.Be present. Surfing forces us to be present in the here and now. If you get ahead of yourself and think about the last wave or what you need to do for the upcoming wave, it can throw you off from being able to respond to the changes with each wave because every wave is different. By staying very present in each moment, you are able to adapt and adjust your paddle, pop up, stance or otherwise to make magic happen. This is no different than life. When we are really present to what is right now and not what was or what will be, we begin to enjoy the journey and find the miracles in every moment.

4.Persistence and perseverance pave the way. Taking that extra paddle and making that extra effort paves the way for that pay off of the wave you catch. If you fail once, fail twice, fail thrice, try, try again and keep at it. Your effort will pay off. In life, if you take that extra step and persist and persevere, you can't fail. You may "fail" but what you gain in experience, opportunity and learning will put you ahead of the curve the next time you get out there. So don't give up, keep going until your effort paves the way for more joy, success and excitement.

5.Ego is no amigo. This one I credit to one of my dear surfer sisters. Just like in life, you can come to anything with your heart open or you can come with an ego. In the end, which will make you happier and which will get you where you are going faster? One of the most famous surf quotes is, "The best surfer is the one having the most fun." Then for sure I am the best surfer as I am constantly laughing, giggling, singing and enjoying the waves. Imagine if more people could approach their lives and work with a little more heart and a little less ego? Imagine the world we would live in.

6.Your mind creates your reality. Our attitudes shape our reality. If you think you can't, you won't. If you think you can, you will. It is that simple. In surfing, if you get in the water and think you can't handle this or you are not going to have fun or if you are paddling for a wave and think, "I am not going to get this," you won't. It is that simple. In life it is no different. If we act as if and even continually repeat to ourselves, I can do this, I will have fun or whatever positive affirmation can replace a negative, over time it will stick and will become our realities. It just starts with the right positive mental attitude.

7.Choose love over fear. Fear is a state of mind. We all have fears in life and surfing. It is what we do with that fear that is most important. In surfing, if we see a wave or a break or a set that we are afraid of, do we shrink in the face of our fears or do we face them and allow ourselves to stretch, grow and expand beyond. We each have a bubble that makes up our life experience and over time we can expand the bubble (and the fears within it) or we can allow them to contract and constrict, and ultimately imprison ourselves from our own making. Every time we stretch and choose love, we are choosing to overcome our fears. We break the patterning that holds us back and we free ourselves more and more each time. When we lean into love, we reinforce a pattern of trust and faith that further enables us to overcome future fears.

8.One as a part of a whole. The ocean consists of many waves and one wave, while singular, is part of the greater whole. We as human beings are no different. We each have our own unique characteristics, passions and fears. Yet the actions that we each make have an impact, or ripple effect, on others. With surfing you have to be present and stay focused on yourself and your wave, yet you also have to have an awareness of the others in the water. So is the case in life, while we may focus on our own needs, we must also pay attention to the ramifications for others and the planet at large and be considerate and compassionate of the whole.

These are just a few of the lessons from surfing that translate to life. Surfing brings out your true essence and authenticity. It is as though it requires us to rekindle that inner light, that inner child and shine it bright and share it with others to radiate out in the world and remind others to do the same. As I say to many people I know, "Surfing is the new golf." Really surfing is much more than that and has been a gift in my life to rekindle my own inner child, inner giggler and inner guru. How might these lessons translate in your own life?

Even Superheroes Have Bad Days

Yesterday I had a bad day. I guess we all have bad days sometimes.

Some days, most days I feel like a superhero. That is, I feel like I can and I will do and take on anything I set my mind to. Then, I have one of those days that I feel like the bad guy came and took a super bulldozer and just whacked the crap out of me. And it feels like I can't even dare to take another step forward...that the universe is conspiring against me and there is no relief in sight.

Yesterday was one of those days.

Why do I share this when many of us have bad days on a regular basis? Just for that reason...as a reminder to all of us...that no matter if frequent or few and far between, it is ok to have a bad day...and we are not alone. Even superheroes have bad days!

What I realized about it, is that it is just what you do with it. I used to have a bad day and either two things would happen, I would wallow in it or stuff it and quickly find something to do to keep me busy so I could move on, yet never deal with the emotions or the issue and so it would always linger or come back to haunt me in an even bigger way at a later date.

First I let myself feel what I was feeling and sit with my feelings, cry, get angry, breathe, be sad, be angry, be mad, cry, breathe a little more and sit with all that I was feeling. I didn't wallow in it and beat myself up or tell myself I should get over it and shouldn't be crying. I just allowed myself to be with it, be with me and feel what I was feeling.

What a miracle that was and such a different way of experiencing a really hard day - almost a nurturing, not wallowing, way. I had moments when I could sit as though observing myself from above and just watch and allow everything to release - all the pent up frustration, fear, hurt, sadness and anger pour out of me. It was as though I could see it pour out of my spout, rather than bubble up and then get smushed back down. I could see the steam burning off. What a release...what a relief!

The funny thing was that as my mood escalated there was a massive storm that ensued - with major rain, thunder and lightening that lit up the sky. I felt like the heavens were raging with me, reminding me that I am not alone. It was comforting and soothing to remember that everybody has a bad day sometimes and I was not alone.

I then found myself, a few hours later when the amplified feelings subsided, and the thunderstorm ;), beginning to shift into solution mode. I kind of chuckled at myself as I observed this. Ok, so how do I shift out of this and turn yet another obstacle into an opportunity.

This is what I believe makes a superhero, a superhero. It isn't that they don't have fears and obstacles, it is just that they don't let them stop them from moving forward. It is just a temporary setback. What makes me human is to recognize and allow myself to take a little time to feel the pain and allow the healing to occur. While I had a ton of ideas come up and solutions pop in, and even some that I immediately acted upon, I decided to get a good night's sleep first and remember that tomorrow is another day. This is the balance between human and superhero, human and spiritual being - and it is a balance every day!

So I went to sleep, got some rest, and even reminded myself of all that I am grateful for and forgave myself.

Today is another day. Super P is ready to fly again. I hope your day is filled with joy, peace and gratitude. And if it isn't, it is ok too. Just take a deep breath, allow yourself to feel it, release it and just remember that tomorrow is another day.

You Don't Know What You Don't Know

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so. ~ Mark Twain

It is funny because I actually think that sometimes it is what you don't know that gets you into trouble. I recently started noticing how what we know or don't know can actually set us up for failed expectations, miscommunication or learning and growing in ways we never could have deemed possible.

The first scenario is: You don't know what you don't know. That is, that when people don't know something they often assume that something is bad or isn't possible.

I have been experiencing and watching this a lot lately. Starting my own company is one example. As I have gone all over and talked to many different people about what we are creating, I notice that everyone either a) tries to fit it into a framework that they understand (and then hence, they aren't actually capturing the true essence of the innovation we are creating) or b) look at me incomprehensibly as though to let me know that what I am creating isn't possible.

I have also witnessed that if people don't know and are faced with the unknown, they are often pushed to their limits of what their experiential minds can comprehend. When this happens
they often turn what they don't know into something bad or they immediately go to... oh, well this isn't possible. It is a funny trick the mind can play on us and it limits us to believe that if we don't understand or don't know how, then it isn't possible.

Rather, I would suggest that at exactly the moment that we hit this point of the unknown we force ourselves to recognize it and dare to ask ourselves, ok, this isn't something impossible, it is just something I don't know. In that moment, if we can push ourselves beyond to say, just because I don't know it, doesn't mean it is bad or I won't do it or I don't know how. Instead, what if in that moment, we pushed beyond our limits to forge into the unknown. Sometimes we may do this by ourselves and other times we may reach out to others and ask for support, because sometimes our unknowns are not the same limits as others and we may become instrumental to each other in breaking through any fear or doubt in overcoming the unknown.

Another scenario is: You don't realize that what you know, others don't know. This one has come back to bite me a lot in my life and to teach me some truly valuable lessons.

We all come knowing, sensing and perceiving things in different ways. We all come from different backgrounds, different families, different societies and so on. We all have strengths in certain areas and weaknesses in others. I used to think that everyone knew what I knew and had the same gifts that I had. It lead me to a lot of unintended frustration and miscommunication. When I worked with clients, I would see things in certain ways. I was often told I could see things at a global level and then take that down to the detail. For a long time, I didn't realize that this was something unique to me. So when I worked with others, I thought they could see what I saw. But when I'd get into meetings and they wouldn't get it, or they would get frustrated because I jumped from one thing to the next, I never fully realized that perhaps they weren't seeing the same thing that I saw, which lead to my own frustration.

For a long time, this lead to my own "shrinking." That is, when you have enough experiences where people don't get you, you start to think, well what is wrong with me. I know for several years, my confidence significantly dropped as I felt like no one really got me, so I must be wrong or must be misperceiving things. It took me several years to realize that actually what I was perceiving was right, for me. I began to get a whole new understanding of assessing what I know and don't know and what others know and putting that into perspective when I work with, relate to and interact with others. It also gave me a whole new sense of empathy and understanding for others. I started to drop my expectations of others, because I realized that expectations were merely my perceptions and perspectives given my own unique lens of how things should be and didn't in any way take into account others views. So I began to let go of what I thought and have really begun to listen, learn from and empathize with others.

This brings up my final scenario that: Others know what you don't know. That is, because we each have our own unique perspectives, limits, boundaries, fears and also knowledge, gifts and expertise, we all have so much to learn from each other, if we are open to and allow it!

It is when we open up to allowing for different perspectives and valuing each other, but also valuing ourselves and our uniqueness and authenticity in the process, it allows for a whole new world of possibility to open up...to overcome our fears, to surpass our limitations and hurdle our obstacles; to look to, listen and learn from others; and to trust our own inner guidance and share our gifts with others.

This is the magic of our unique existence and our connected co-existence with each other!

You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and www.facebook.com/pilarstella1 and twitter @pilarstella.

Transitions

One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. ~Andre Gide

I was recently told by a friend that there is a time during delivery of a baby in which the process is so painful that the mom wants to run and hide and to do anything but keep pushing the baby out. This time is so aptly called the transition. What a perfect metaphor for our own life transitions and the transition we are in at this moment in history.

I am seeing it everywhere and feeling it all around me - transitions - from one existence we have known to one we are very unsure of, from an old paradigm to a new. These are very uncomfortable times for many. Some days it is uncomfortable for me, even painful, to go through this transition, that is until I let go or get out of my way, go inward, meditate or do something to release my grip of what I have known and allow something else to emerge.

I have likened it to any time in history in which people have discovered new paradigms and have gone against the grain.

Galileo, known by many as the father of modern science, was very controversial in his time. His studies in astronomy and science that supported the view that the Sun, not the Earth, was at the center of the universe went against the prevailing beliefs of the time. When he defended his views, he was tried by the Inquisition, found suspect of heresy, was forced to recant and spent the remainder that of his life under house arrest.

Columbus, whether you support him or not, when he set off to the west, their were conflicting beliefs at the time that the world was flat or that it had a much wider diameter. Hence, he was scoffed at for the idea of discovering new lands as it went against the prevailing beliefs. But he kept going when others didn't believe, only to (re-)"discover" the Americas and disprove existing theories.

When the pioneers in America crossed the frontier to head west and discover new lands, the same apprehension and fear of the unknown also was faced - and overcome.

There are many more stories like this over history in which visionaries, stepped out of the norm, out of the accepted and out of their comfort zones to find some unknown, that they believed was there and they believed was possible, when others dared not or feared the impossible and the unknown.

I believe we are in a transition like this and when major historical transitions like this come about, we are bound to be uncomfortable. Those of us on the cutting edge are likely to be questioned, doubted, even feared. For what we are discovering dares to question the existing paradigm, to change the current world view and to challenge what we have been taught, what we know and what we believe in.

Transitions can be uncomfortable and down right scary times for everyone. Yet we must remember in these transitions that there may be a period in which we lose sight of the shore for a long time, but we must keep going to see progress. We can not go backwards, that is no longer an option.

We have little choice but to step forward and trust that the steps will appear before us. We may want to stay stuck because we can't see the next step. But something will force us there whether we like it or not, so we might as well move forward in faith and trust, knowing that something better is coming. That is one thing we may surely have learned from history, is that in times like this, moving forward, taking one step forward in the direction of progress is much better than holding on to or standing still and staying stuck with what is no longer working.

In these times of transition, may you let go and move forward to do what it is you are here to do. Learn to trust the process and welcome in the new, rather than resist it and allow the pain, turmoil and transition to persist.

You can find me at www.facebook.com/pilarstella and twitter @pilarstella.